I’ve had questions about what a daddy would do to help a little guy regress, and although I write a lot on this blog about what I’d do to try to give a little guy a safe, trusting and caring space in which to express his little side I realize that the question is, in some ways, more specific than that.
Now, you’ll have to excuse me if I ramble a little here because this is a topic that is hard to express in words. Regression has so many different sides to it, and maybe it’s more appropriate for the dads out there to think through.
The first thing about regression is to understand that the sense of being an adult baby is different in different people.
For some, they may be primarily a diaper lover with some tendencies towards having a caretaker.
In a previous post, I mapped out the different types of adult babies and diaper lovers. These would be the boys who respond more to feelings of being under control than pure regression.
Maybe you’re the kind of boy who has always loved his diapers and doesn’t mind having a play date with someone else who feels the same way. Maybe your thoughts of being with a dad is more about having someone who provides a sense of guidance, control and authority in your life.
It’s less about being a little boy and more about the feeling of being safer maybe when you have someone you can look up to. For these guys, having a dad who babies them or treats them like a little boy is about expressing feelings between the dad and the son. Being dressed in toddler clothes might give someone a tangible way to feel the ways in which they can state their “littleness” to the older figure.
It’s less about bringing out the little guy INSIDE and more about being a little boy on the OUTSIDE so that dad can see. The fact that this will trigger feelings of being a little guy is important, however.
Continue reading “Regression and the Adult Baby”
I’ve been so amazed and touched by the questions and comments from people who have read this blog, or who have e-mailed me about their feelings and experiences. One of the reasons I started this blog was that I couldn’t find much advice for dads to adult babies/diaper lovers.
Actually – that isn’t true, and thus this post. Because there are definitely dads out there, I just don’t relate to some of their ways of expressing their relationship to a little one. I do feel that all forms of expression and care are valid and provide rich opportunities for personal exploration. But there are some things about being a daddy that I just don’t feel suit my personality or interests.
In particular, I’m very focused on nurturing, caring, love, and approval. When people ask me about ‘punishments’ my response is usually to say that positive reinforcement, structure, guidance and approval work better than what a ‘stricter’ daddy might provide.
Now, for all you little ones out there, this is probably a lot more of a dad-to-dad talk so you might want to go watch cartoons. But if you can’t help peeking over daddy’s shoulder as he does serious adult type stuff maybe the scribbles will make sense.
Continue reading “What Kind of Adult Baby Are You?”
Adult babies have a lot of questions for dads. I didn’t realize that there were so many things a little guy might want to know about, and I’ve learned an incredible amount from the questions themselves.
I know that not everyone clicks on the little ‘ask daddy’ link, so I thought I’d share a few of my responses here. And thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful questions, they really make me feel special and proud of all of you! (I know that may sound a little cheesy but it’s true.)
OK, so a few of your questions, answered:
Q: Dear Daddy, In reference to your article on boys and wet diapers, I think we like to be in wet ones because it reminds us we are boys in need of your help.
How often to you check boy’s diapers? Is there an unkown signal boys give off or do you just know?
Little guys definitely give off lots of signals – a slight extra waddle to their step, relaxation in the lower back, the way their head tilts. It’s as if their wet diaper is the place from which feelings arise that let their muscles relax into a more babyish, playful tone. And then their little shuffles and movements as they maybe squirm a little in their seat is often a signal of their body shifting in awareness of their wet pampers.
But regardless of those signals, when you’re with a little guy for a while and he uses his diapers regularly, there are often rhythms that a daddy learns to spot. As he uses his diapers and gets used to them, the wettings tend to become more frequent, rather than one “big flood”. I think you learn to know a little guy’s rhythms as time goes on.
But finally, I like to do diaper checks fairly regularly. Even if I know he’s probably dry, it’s like a little kiss to say I love him in my books, and since I love him soooo much I can’t help fairly frequent diaper checks – a little tuck of my fingers along the waist or leg openings as he plays just to reaffirm that I’ll be there for him when he wets and should feel safe to use his diaper as a little boy does.
Continue reading “Answers Revealed: Questions for Daddy from Adult Babies”
No one likes a diaper that leaks – least of all a dad to an adult baby. Or do they? Maybe some adult baby boys kind of – well, LIKE it when their diapers leak.
To be honest, this has often been a real point of insecurity for me. Noticing that a little guy has a dark spot on the back of his jeans or play clothes or a tell tale wet spot along his inner legs makes me wonder whether I’ve neglected him in some way.
Maybe I chose the wrong kind of diaper or the wrong kind for the time of day. Maybe I wasn’t careful enough making sure it was snug around the legs. Or maybe my diaper checks weren’t frequent enough and I wasn’t aware he was already wet and I left it to get to the ‘soaked’ point.
Continue reading “Leaky Diapers and the Adult Baby”
For the diaper lover or adult baby the security of their diaper must come from a lot of things. The feeling that they have ‘protection’, that maybe there’s someone to care for them, feelings of both dependence (on a caretaker) and independence (from that awful potty).
But for a daddy, one thing I’m never quite sure about is why a little boy often seems just as happy in a wet diaper as a dry one.
Continue reading “Wet Diapers and the Adult Baby”
Writing this blog has been such a wonderful experience for me. I started it because for years now I’ve explored different sides of who I am and have come to realize a few things: one, caring for someone else gave me some of the greatest joy I’ve experienced; and two, although I sometimes resist it, I’ve always been more of a ‘dad’.
Since inviting your questions and comments, I’ve also discovered that there are a lot more little boys out there who feel the opposite: who they are is who they are, and that they’re looking for, at the least, is a caretaker, time with a ‘dad’, or maybe, just maybe, to be ‘adopted’.
Continue reading “Adopting the Adult Baby”
When an adult baby wakes up in his crib I like to think that it can be like waking from the warmth of sleep and dreams into a sense of safety and security. But there’s a time before that moment, and I’m reminded of it this morning. It’s the time when daddy is awake and his little guy is still sound asleep, paci in his mouth and curled up under his blanky.
It’s in that space just before dawn where daddy can sometimes feel alone but, if he’s lucky, can also remember his connection to something big and important and wonderful.
Continue reading “What Daddy’s Thinking: Creating Safety for the Adult Baby”