I’ve had questions about what a daddy would do to help a little guy regress, and although I write a lot on this blog about what I’d do to try to give a little guy a safe, trusting and caring space in which to express his little side I realize that the question is, in some ways, more specific than that.
Now, you’ll have to excuse me if I ramble a little here because this is a topic that is hard to express in words. Regression has so many different sides to it, and maybe it’s more appropriate for the dads out there to think through.
The first thing about regression is to understand that the sense of being an adult baby is different in different people.
For some, they may be primarily a diaper lover with some tendencies towards having a caretaker.
In a previous post, I mapped out the different types of adult babies and diaper lovers. These would be the boys who respond more to feelings of being under control than pure regression.
Maybe you’re the kind of boy who has always loved his diapers and doesn’t mind having a play date with someone else who feels the same way. Maybe your thoughts of being with a dad is more about having someone who provides a sense of guidance, control and authority in your life.
It’s less about being a little boy and more about the feeling of being safer maybe when you have someone you can look up to. For these guys, having a dad who babies them or treats them like a little boy is about expressing feelings between the dad and the son. Being dressed in toddler clothes might give someone a tangible way to feel the ways in which they can state their “littleness” to the older figure.
It’s less about bringing out the little guy INSIDE and more about being a little boy on the OUTSIDE so that dad can see. The fact that this will trigger feelings of being a little guy is important, however.
Continue reading “Regression and the Adult Baby”
I’ve been so amazed and touched by the questions and comments from people who have read this blog, or who have e-mailed me about their feelings and experiences. One of the reasons I started this blog was that I couldn’t find much advice for dads to adult babies/diaper lovers.
Actually – that isn’t true, and thus this post. Because there are definitely dads out there, I just don’t relate to some of their ways of expressing their relationship to a little one. I do feel that all forms of expression and care are valid and provide rich opportunities for personal exploration. But there are some things about being a daddy that I just don’t feel suit my personality or interests.
In particular, I’m very focused on nurturing, caring, love, and approval. When people ask me about ‘punishments’ my response is usually to say that positive reinforcement, structure, guidance and approval work better than what a ‘stricter’ daddy might provide.
Now, for all you little ones out there, this is probably a lot more of a dad-to-dad talk so you might want to go watch cartoons. But if you can’t help peeking over daddy’s shoulder as he does serious adult type stuff maybe the scribbles will make sense.
Continue reading “What Kind of Adult Baby Are You?”
Adult babies have a lot of questions for dads. I didn’t realize that there were so many things a little guy might want to know about, and I’ve learned an incredible amount from the questions themselves.
I know that not everyone clicks on the little ‘ask daddy’ link, so I thought I’d share a few of my responses here. And thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful questions, they really make me feel special and proud of all of you! (I know that may sound a little cheesy but it’s true.)
OK, so a few of your questions, answered:
Q: Dear Daddy, In reference to your article on boys and wet diapers, I think we like to be in wet ones because it reminds us we are boys in need of your help.
How often to you check boy’s diapers? Is there an unkown signal boys give off or do you just know?
Little guys definitely give off lots of signals – a slight extra waddle to their step, relaxation in the lower back, the way their head tilts. It’s as if their wet diaper is the place from which feelings arise that let their muscles relax into a more babyish, playful tone. And then their little shuffles and movements as they maybe squirm a little in their seat is often a signal of their body shifting in awareness of their wet pampers.
But regardless of those signals, when you’re with a little guy for a while and he uses his diapers regularly, there are often rhythms that a daddy learns to spot. As he uses his diapers and gets used to them, the wettings tend to become more frequent, rather than one “big flood”. I think you learn to know a little guy’s rhythms as time goes on.
But finally, I like to do diaper checks fairly regularly. Even if I know he’s probably dry, it’s like a little kiss to say I love him in my books, and since I love him soooo much I can’t help fairly frequent diaper checks – a little tuck of my fingers along the waist or leg openings as he plays just to reaffirm that I’ll be there for him when he wets and should feel safe to use his diaper as a little boy does.
Continue reading “Answers Revealed: Questions for Daddy from Adult Babies”
Does bed wetting when you’re younger connect to a love for diapers or being babied later in life? Does the diaper lover who grew up with wet sheets feel differently about loving diapers later in life than someone who didn’t?
I’m not sure I have an answer to this one. But one thing I’ve noticed is that for some people, training ‘problems’ or medical issues earlier in life shifted from being something they were shameful or humiliated by to something they came to love and feel is part of who they are. Continue reading “From Bedwetting Back to Diapers for the AB/DL”
Making the right choice of diaper for an adult baby would be tough for the dad. Thankfully, most little ones seem to know which diaper they like best although they’re constantly looking for improvement!
One of the most common questions I hear amongst diaper lovers and ABs is – “What kind do you wear?” The answers can be very specific and opinionated. Diaper lovers like specific brands for specific reasons but will nearly always have a complaint or two – ‘nearly perfect but not crinkly enough’, ‘holds lots but the wrong color’.
Continue reading “What Kind Do You Wear?”
You’re a baby or toddler in nice clean diapers and maybe a cute pair of short-alls. You’ve spent some quality time with daddy but now he’s left you to play a little on your own – maybe ‘baby’ time with some blocks or a coloring book, or maybe more adult time on the computer or just watching TV. Daddy’s in the other room and as you sit there you start to wonder: what’s daddy thinking? What’s he doing? Is he going to forget I’m here? Is he happy to be away from me?
Being a dad to an adult baby is exhilarating, emotional, delightful, filled with routine and ritual (or surprise and excitement), and is sometimes exhausting. But if you’ve ever wondered what dad is thinking when he’s not around, I can say that you are probably not far from his thoughts.
Continue reading “What Daddy’s Thinking”