To be honest, this has often been a real point of insecurity for me. Noticing that a little guy has a dark spot on the back of his jeans or play clothes or a tell tale wet spot along his inner legs makes me wonder whether I’ve neglected him in some way.
Maybe I chose the wrong kind of diaper or the wrong kind for the time of day. Maybe I wasn’t careful enough making sure it was snug around the legs. Or maybe my diaper checks weren’t frequent enough and I wasn’t aware he was already wet and I left it to get to the ‘soaked’ point.
But the truth is I think there can be other factors as well. For the boy who isn’t used to diapers on a full-time basis, for example, they may still be wetting in ‘older’ patterns: holding it in and then releasing all at once. This is an invitation to leaks and over time, a little guy can be encouraged to use his diapers as a little guy would: releasing without thinking too much about it and as he needs to, rather than waiting for one large ‘flood’.
Diapers themselves, no matter how well designed, can’t always do the job of stopping leaks. Depending if a little guy is in his crib, lying on his back, or sitting in his playpen, there’s always a chance of, well, misdirection.
The important thing, I think, is avoiding any feelings of guilt or worry if a little guy has a leaky diaper. Although thicker diapers might be needed and plastic pants for the little guy who tends to flood or is a heavy wetter, that still might not prevent the VERY occasional leak.
No matter WHAT a daddy does he should never get angry at his son for a wet couch, carpet or clothes. A boy should know that it’s safe and right to use his diapers in what ever way he needs to, and creating any shame around leaks will make it tougher for the little guy to feel that he belongs in his diapers or might make him nervous to use them.
Sometimes, a wet spot on his bum while in public might be a little embarrassing, but daddy should both provide reassurance and have back-up plans in place – a sweater wrapped around the boy’s waist if it’s serious, a reassuring pat on the shoulder and diapered bum for those “maybe people will notice or maybe not” moments, and a spare pair of shorts or jeans in the diaper bag if it’s a longer day out.
But at the end of the day, it may not answer the real question – because I can’t help thinking that sometimes the adult baby boy or diaper lover doesn’t MIND a bit of leaking and wears it almost like a badge of honor – he’s his daddy’s diapered boy, after all, and maybe a little splotch or two on his jeans is his way of showing the world.
But maybe that’s just me hoping that a leaky diaper isn’t always such a bad thing nor a sign that daddy needs to go back to diapering school.