Posted in Answers, Diapers, Son's Experiences

From Bedwetting Back to Diapers for the AB/DL

Does bed wetting when you’re younger connect to a love for diapers or being babied later in life? Does the diaper lover who grew up with wet sheets feel differently about loving diapers later in life than someone who didn’t?

I’m not sure I have an answer to this one. But one thing I’ve noticed is that for some people, training ‘problems’ or medical issues earlier in life shifted from being something they were shameful or humiliated by to something they came to love and feel is part of who they are.

This isn’t true in all cases, of course – I also read or hear about guys who have had to wear diapers much of their lives, either at night or all the time, and while they say they’ll never “love” wearing, they came to accept it and have found a culture and community online that accepts them.

But what about the diaper lover? The person who, through no fault of their own, had problems keeping their bed or pants dry.

Sometimes this happened to them when they were a little older – the 11 year old who suddenly has an ‘accident’ and wets his shorts, or the 14 year old who wakes up to a wet bed. These can be one-off things….humiliating maybe, but put behind eventually, although the memory can live for a very long time.

But for the teen boy who finds that the wet beds are more frequent, the path from being “normal” to being a bed wetter can be abrupt and painful. Maybe there’s a medical component. Maybe a physician says it’s psychosocial. Maybe there IS no answer – but the wet sheets continue.

There can be sudden changes in social behavior. No more sleepovers. Maybe no invitations over just to hang out – the boy worries that there might be a lingering smell in the room or that ‘hanging out’ will lead to sleeping over.

Depending on the parents, there can be calm reassurance that this is all very natural, or there can be scoldings: “Why don’t you grow up”….as if growing up might not be connected with the issue.

Underpads or plastic sheets might be used to try to prevent mattress damages.

And, eventually, the topic of ‘protection’ will come up.

Yeah, diapers, and it doesn’t matter whether you call them Pull-Ups, Goodnites or Underjams, they’re still diapers, at least to a teen (a 7 year-old might buy the line of it being “just like underwear” but a teenager won’t).

Now, wetting the bed is one thing, but in the rare instance where this extends to the day, even if it’s an occasional thing, the feelings can be painful: friendships are hard to maintain, gym class becomes an exercise in embarrassment if the boy is wearing hidden ‘protection’, or if he ISN’T wearing protection, worries about having an accident can become a major preoccupation.

Plastic pants might enter the picture – but the crinkle sound and the risk they might be seen probably doesn’t make them much better than wearing Pull-Ups.

Maybe there are one or two friends who know and don’t care, but I suspect this isn’t usually the case.

Often, as the boy gets older, the protection isn’t enough. The sizes are slightly too small or the wettings are heavier, there are leaks, and it’s time for true diapers, tapes and all.

Now, somewhere along the line, for some people, all of the awful stuff turns into something else. Either the phase passes or continues but in both cases the boy grows up and for some of them, the diapers have become something he secretly ENJOYS wearing.

What was once embarrassing is now embarrassing but for a different reason: who’s he going to tell that he actually wants to keep wearing his diapers?

I suspect that it’s more common for someone who had to wear “real” diapers with the tapes and padded bum to enjoy them later in life. I think there’s something about the protection and safety which, while humiliating at first, gave a kind of comfort. These feelings of safety when combined with other physical changes in the boy’s body provide a connection of diapers to protection and care, even though they might not be ‘cool’ with the other kids.

Maybe those feelings of protection and care help to translate into wanting to extend that feeling, maybe that’s why some DLs also become ABs or, at the very least, secretly want someone ELSE to be changing them and caring for them, to be there for them in the morning and give them love and attention and be proud that he had a dry bed but a wet night, and happily change him or cuddle him for a bit while he remains in the wet diaper.

By extending the feelings to receiving care and security from a caretaker or daddy can shift from being someone who once had a problem to being someone who has discovered that his problem is an advantage: he can let someone care for them, not judge him, keep him safe and diapered, and realize that his diapers were and are just part of who he is – and that everyone deserves some acceptance and love.

But what about you? Did you start as a bed wetter and move into diapers? And how do you feel about them now? Maybe your sharing will help others to understand.

7 thoughts on “From Bedwetting Back to Diapers for the AB/DL

  1. It’s great to see a blog from a “Dad’s” perspective!

    Your post really struck a chord with me. I’m a 27 yr-old “boy” who had an interesting start back into diapers. I wasn’t a bedwetter, that I can remember. When I was 19 I was involved in a bad car crash. Long story short, it took me 6 months to learn how to walk again.

    The morning after the crash, when I woke up in the hospital, I was catheterized. At the time I didn’t know what that meant… it was days later I realized there was a weird tube coming out of me there. I was cathed for maybe 4-6 days, after which the nurse helped me out of it and explained I would need “adult briefs” as I couldn’t make it to a bathroom, and was too “out of it” on morphine to use the bedpan reliably.

    Being a cocky 19 know-it-all, being put back in diapers (by a hot male nurse, no less!) was NOT fun at the time! In fact, it was humiliating. I remember when family and friends came to visit I was mortified they might notice I was diapered under my gown.

    I regained my strength and am now 100%. But for a good year after I healed I kept remembering being diapered in the hospital… how it felt being diapered, being changed. I began to remember it positively, though I was confused by my feelings. One day I finally got the courage to go to the drugstore and buy a package of diapers. And the rest is history!

  2. i love diapers.
    trying to remeber when i frist like diapers.
    when my sister and brother were still in diapers all the time i would waite until every one was a sleep at nap time and go get the cloth diapers and plastic-pants and put them on, that’s all my mom would use on us 24/7 when we were little baby’s in diapers. i never wanted t o be out of diapers during the day, at night my mom would diaper me for bed, in the morning befor anyone got up i would go get the diapers and wear them. my dad was never around or in our lifes at all. only came around once a year if we were luck. one day my dad came home and found me in cloth diapers and plastic-pants and beat my butt for it, and when i wet my bed as well. i would wet my pants at school so i would get sent home, so i could be diapered in the day time. i did get paddy traned the day wetting and only had a few acc. at times art night. when we were all out of diapers, i would go to my friends house were i new that’s there sister’s or brother’s were still in diapers i would take them and wear them when i went home. as i got older i would baby set kinds still in diapers, just to make money and buy me more diapers to wear. then when i couldn’t baby set kinds, i would go to my friends house and take there diapers home with me. my mom moved around a lot from state to state looking for my dad. and never found him. the last place we saw my dad is ca. and i was 10 yo at the time. so my mom moved us away to arkansas and that sucks, to her family they never new us or wonted us around so my mom moved once again some were in arkansas. i love the sound when you have the plastic backing diapers on and when your in plastic=pants and have cloth diapers under them.

  3. wow! its like u were telling about me when u wrote this. it was like looking in a mirrow or reading a story about why im like i am. i wonder how somebody who doesnt really love to wear diapers can understand all this stuff about kids that do. u sure seem like the perfect tb “daddy”.

    because i always had to wear diapers so i wont wet the bed, i have wondered how i could have learned to love them so much too. maybe its because it was like the only special attention i got from all the other kids in the foster homes where i lived. i just knew it really felt like love when someone was really sweet to me when they had to change me. i loved that special attention and it was like the best thing i had to look forward to every night. when i got one foster mom that totally hated me for being a bedwetter it seemed like all the kids there were mean to me too. i tried really hard to learn to stay dry so i wouldnt get a spanking for it, but that was not what made me feel so bad i guess. maybe it was because it felt like no body loved me that hurt the most. when i finally ran away from there, and they put me in a new place where my new mom was cool about having to put diapers on me, it seemed the kids there were cool too so it made me feel like it was special when i got extra attention at bedtime. getting wrapped up in diapers was like getting a special hug that the other kids didnt. it really messed up my mind when i got puberty and my mom didnt want to change my diapers any more and made me learn to do it myself. it felt like she didnt love me as much any more and i felt sorry for myself because of it. i didnt want to grow up any more. i wanted to go back and be a baby again so she would love me again.

    when an older boy that was my best friend most of my life started offering to help me change my diapers when we had sleepovers, it started a new “love” thing about diapers. i thought the special attention he gave me was love too, but i finally figured out it was really something else. i wish i had somebody that really loved me like u said, “someone to care for him, not judge him, keep him safe and diapered, and realize that his diapers were and are just part of who he is – and that everyone deserves some acceptance and love.” just like u said that, its how i feel too. im glad i found somebody that understands kids like me and helps me understand myself better so i feel better. thanks for being a great online dad.

  4. When I woke up this morning I was wetting my diaper. I remembered the days when I wasn’t so lucky. The days of waking up wet and tired, trying to figure out how to get back to sleep. I would strip myself of my wet underpants and T-shirt then take one of my blankets and try to cuddle on the floor to get back to sleep. I would cover the heat register with the blanket to try and warm myself up. The coolness of my wet bed would suck the heat right out of my body so I was always shivering. Some nights I would wet the floor, making a mess that I had to clean. My mom took care of my sheets until I was 10 after that it was my responsibility. I was lazy so when it was my time to wash the sheets I left them for a few days. I would turn the sheets down and hope that they would dry. Oh how many nights did I wriggle into a still moist stinky bed? Before I was 10 I had a water bed to sleep on. The heater kept my bed warm but still I woke up shivering. When we moved my water bed wouldn’t work in my bedroom so we had to replace the mattress with a regular mattress. I soaked that one so bad in just a year that it had to be thrown away. It was gross, the springs were rusting through the fabric. By then I was 12 and my folks were so fed up with my constant wetting that they just bought me some mattress foam and gave it to me to figure out. Mom would buy me plastic sheets by they ripped so often that the bed always got wet. I was given toddler disp diapers to tuck into my underpants but since I wasn’t wearing them they leaked all over. Mom took them away when I was 14, she figured that I was getting a diaper fetish. She even talked to my shrink about it. What a conversation: Do you enjoy wetting your bed and playing in diapers?

    All this stress about wetting at night really changed my attitude about sleeping and effected my self esteem. I never wanted to sleep over a friends house, and when I did I soaked their beds or carpets. I tried to tie my penis in a knot as a boy and would often smack my privates for punishment. I was so mad at myself for being a bedwetter that I even rubbed my face and body in the pissy sheets. I tried everything to punish myself into not wetting. This brings on so much stress for a boy.

    Now I sleep in cloth diapers and plastic pants. I can sleep calmly without worrying about soaking the bed. I was so nervous about it as a boy but now I just diaper up and get a great nights sleep. I can pee in any position without worrying about leaks either because cloth diapers absorb all my pee pee. I’m so glad that I found and enjoy wearing diapers.

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